pretending

tell me when I can stop pretending
that everything is not all wrong
that I should have known what was to come
that this was meant to happen all along

tell me when I can stop pretending
that the world around me isn’t falling apart
that nothing really awful is going on
that I’m supposed to be feeling this pain in my heart

tell me when I can stop pretending
that everything is better than it seems
that I can believe things could always be worse
that nightmares don’t shadow every one of my dreams

tell me when I can stop pretending
that the hopes that I had now do more than wilt
that I don’t live fearing what will come next
that I’m not constantly overwhelmed by a sense of guilt

tell me when I can stop pretending
that my every childhood wish will ever come true
that I don’t worry about not being able to move on
that feeling sorry for myself isn't the only thing I do

tell me when I can stop pretending
that I haven’t lived my whole life as a lie
that it will all be back to normal someday
that when all is said and done, I won't still wonder why